Thank you

I wanted to extend my heart felt thanks to every single one of our readers.  Your support and kind words during our last difficult post meant more than I can express.  I'm very glad I decided to write the post, I felt it was important to share the difficult side to rescue and the hard decisions we're sometimes faced with.  But, more importantly, the support I received back was so amazing and very comforting while I processed and grieved what had happened, it was very helpful.

I've had some time to relive, review and rethink every aspect of Bree's time with us.  I've tried to figure out what I could have done differently or what I could learn from this situation so I could hopefully prevent it in the future... what I've come away with is that I'm very confident in my decision, for the safety of other animals and other people, and the safety and sanity of Bree... and the lesson I've learned is that I can't save them all.  We have taken in many difficult dogs and successfully fostered them and adopted them out, but the risk to fostering and adopting out a dangerous dog is too great.  For the time she was with us, Bree had a better life than she had ever experienced.  She had moments of pure happiness and joy.  She had a full belly and she was surrounded with love.  We couldn't be successful in rehoming her, but we were successful in letting her know she had a home and she had love.  And, this time, that was all we could do.

So, thank you again.  Your words filled a void in my heart and helped me along in my healing process.  I'm forever grateful for your love and support.

It's taken me some time to regroup, but we'll be back to blogging soon.

The hard part...

A post by the momma:

I debated on sharing this.  I wrote about it and deleted it so many times I lost count.  I had so many emotions and thoughts running through my head, I wasn’t sure which ones I should write about… or if I should write and share it at all.   So, I decided I would sit here and write, no deleting.  

Having this blog and having a Facebook for both myself and a page for Corbin, I share much of our lives with social media, people we know in everyday life and people we  may have never met in person, but find ourselves connected to in a way that makes telling the happy things fun and the sad things difficult.  This is a sad post and a difficult one.  Deciding to tell it leaves me vulnerable to a certain amount of scrutiny, but where would the balance be if I shared only the happy, easy times?  Here goes.

On Monday, June 9, 2014, I helped our beautiful Brienne to the rainbow bridge.

My heart is aching, my eyes still burning, my mind still racing. 

Brienne was adopted and unfortunately her adoption did not work out.  When she was returned, I was not in a position to bring her back into our home.  Between moving my mom and Corbin’s health concerns, it wasn’t possible for us.  Bree went to boarding, then to a foster home where things didn’t work out, then back to boarding, then to another foster home, then when things didn’t work out there she went to another home where she severely attacked their cat.  Bree went back to boarding.  I fought to keep her alive.  I thought all she needed was to come back to our home.  She wasn’t aggressive, she was my dear, sweet Brienne.  Just big and goofy.

Bree came back to our home on Saturday.  After a bit of a rocky intro between her and Corbin, things seemed fine.  I had all 3 dogs in the yard, they were sniffing and running and doing dog things.  Bree charged to Amelia from the other side of the yard and tackled her, growling and snarling.  Thankfully, I was already standing by Amelia and was there in a second to break it up.  I had never heard Brienne growl before. She remained very focused on Amelia and we were careful with their interactions. Saturday night we had a scuffle with all 3 dogs.  No one was hurt, just lots of noise, I was close by to intervene.  I kept telling myself that Bree had been in boarding, she’s just adjusting and has some pent up energy, and we’ll just continue to keep a close eye on the dogs.  Sunday she started getting aggressive with me, snarling, growling and barking and her occasional mouthing turned more frequent, hard and nippy, leaving marks.

Monday after work, all 3 dogs were let out of their crates and into the yard for some play time, then inside to cool down.  Bree and Corbin were following Adam around and both dogs were walking next to each other down the hallway… Bree attacked Corbin. I’m thankful Adam was right behind them and able to break them up leaving Corbin with some nasty scratches, few punctures and a very achy back. 

Brienne wasn’t the same dog we had when she first came into the rescue.  Something was very different about her and I so badly thought being with us would be the cure for her.  It wasn’t.  I wasn’t able to help her any more.  Perhaps the dogs shouldn’t have been that close in the hallway, unfortunately we don’t have a house where we can keep the dogs separated.  Perhaps we should have muscled through our schedules and taken Bree back from the start, avoiding her many moves.  Perhaps I didn’t give her enough time to settle back in.  I’m not sure where things went wrong for her, if it was the constant movement from home to boarding to home to boarding or if her abuse from the past contributed to her insecurity… professional help was previously sought out by a local trusted behaviorist.  Bringing her to my home was her last hope, and I couldn’t help her. 

I took Brienne to the vet.  I held her and kissed her and told her how sorry I was for having failed her and that I loved her.  I was with her through her final moments.  I adopted Brienne.  In some weird way I wanted her to know that she wasn’t just a number, that her name wouldn’t just be forgotten, she was our family and she was loved.  She will be cremated and will stay with me forever. 

Please know this decision was not made lightly.  I personally, and us as a rescue, do not have the means to rehab a dog with such aggressive behaviors and our behaviorist wouldn’t risk taking her in.  We did reach out to other rescues in our area for help with no success.  This wasn’t her first attack, and I knew I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if her next attack was worse or fatal for an animal or she injured a person or child.  I’m not perfect, and I may have made many mistakes with the way I handled Bree’s situation… hindsight is always 20/20.  Many of our foster dogs have been dogs with behavioral and/or aggressive issues that we have been able to successfully work through, manage and adopt them out to understanding and prepared homes.  I’m not a dog behaviorist, I’m not a dog trainer… but I did do my best.

Run free, my sweet Brienne….

I understand that many people will have strong emotions and opinions about this, and I respect your views, but please know I would not have made that decision if I had another available, safe option.  We could not safely place Bree in a home.  This is, by far, the hardest part of rescue...

Amelia: Adopted.

Hi Friends!  This weekend was a BIG weekend! 

Amelia found her forever home! 

 

We are so happy that she will have a forever life that will be filled with love.  Our little girl has come so far from where she was when she first stepped foot into the Corbin Home.  We couldn't be prouder of her progress and her courage.

 

Oh, and do you know what's best about her adoption?

It was with us.

 

Amelia will forever be a part of our family as my sister!

A Corbin Birthday!

 

Yep!  Today is my 5th birthday!  And, can you believe the momma almost didn't let me post about it?  Surely, all of you needed to know about my day of births so you can make your humans provide you with extra delicious noms in celebration!

 

So, off you go!  Go Celebrate National Corbin Day!

Hehe.

A Corbin Health Update!

A blog?  A Blog!  I think I see a blog!!!

I do! I do!

Totally sorry for the promise of a blog, then the absence of a Corbin, again.  But, here it is.  Here is a BLOG!  I have a few things to update you on in the coming days –hopefully! BOL!  But, today I’m going to update you on my health situation.

 

I tell the momma, see, I'm just fine.

 

As you all know, I’ve had the mystery back ouchies for a little over two years now.  For the most part, they’re under control, but recently we had to increase my prednisone from 5 mg once a day to 5 mg twice a day.  The momma says I’ve just slowed down a bit and she can tell that some movements make me uncomfortable.  So, twice a day has seemed to help. 

 

A not-so-recent picture of my missing toe.

My missing toe has healed up super nicely and it hasn’t had much effect on my daily livings.  I look a little bit like a pigeon foot, but oh, well.  Such is a Corbin I suppose.

 

Awkward feets.

My flat footed issue seems to depend on the day.  Some days I’m completely flat footed and the momma gets scared.  Other days, I’m not so bad.  She’s kind of figured out that the more tired I am, the more flat footed I am.  And, when my energy or adrenaline is up, my feet are better. 

 

My view on seizures.

 

Two weeks ago I had a bit of a seizure type episode.  Scary, I know.  It wasn’t one of those awful shaking ones, but more of a trance that I couldn’t get out of and my body was very ridged and my eyes were fixated straight ahead and my breathing was very rumbled and labored.  It happened just as we went to bed one night, the momma thought I was growling at something, but soon realized something wasn’t right.  She came and sat down in my dog bed with me and stroked my back until my breathing started to return to normal and I sort of snapped out of it.  And, once I snapped out of it, I was back to normal and my tail was wagging and I was excited that the momma was snuggling in my bed with me.  She talked to Dr. Mike about it and concluded it was most likely some sort of seizure.  So, we’re going to wait and see if anything else like that happens again.  Hopefully not.

 

See that nasty dot in the middle of my ghost patch?

 

Last week the momma was home sick for 3 whole days!  It was nice to have her home to snuggle with, but I think she started to forget that all the attentions in the house hold should be on me.  So, last Friday I made sure she noticed the big nasty red spots on my chest and legs.  Off to the vet we went!  Turns out, I had a skin infection!  Yep, so I’ve been on antibiotics, which have thankfully helped! 

 

Never a dull moment in the Corbin house!

The dog who cried blog.

 

I promised you blogs.  You will get blogs!  Although, today is just a picture of my angry face for lack of blogs with substance.  And a reminder that the blogs will come and I'm not just a dog who cried blog! 

 

Blogs. Will. Come.

A blog?

It has come to my attention that my last post involved snow and it's clearly Spring time! Finally!  So, I have a lot to update you all on, but the momma has been working lots of extra hours at the workplace, leaving little time for my blogging purposes (Sorry Babs!).  But, I have lots of stuff to update you on next week, including a Corbin medical update, former foster news and a big announcement.  Are you ready for it???

 

So, to hold you over, here is a picture of me and Amelia in our new Spring time Sirius Republic collars!  See you next week!