Tuesday, January 3, 2012

I. Am. Cracker Dog.

I, Corbin Monkey W (this is my full name, so you know I mean business), am a cracker dog. 

This is my entry into Mango's Mango Minister 2012!  Check out all the fun here!  I missed out last year, so I'm super excited to get my entery in QUICK!

My first Qualification... Although I am an American Mutt, part of my Muttiness is an American Pitbull Terrier - and being part terrier means I'm qualifed to be a cracker dog.

My Second Qualification... I do zoomies for LOTS of reasons.  These reasons might be qualified as "no apparent reasons" to others, but running zoomies through the house because my stuffie tried to bite my face... now THAT is a reason to me.  Running crazy zoomies through the yard because the grass tickeled my... well, my you know... THAT is a reason to me!  Doing insane house zoomies because a doggie on the TV barked something funny... now THAT is a reason to me!  Doing super fast and forceful zommies through the house because mom and dad are sleeping... now THAT is surely a reason to me!
I'm the darker one... who looks like he's in fast forward about 45 seconds into the video.
Emmtt is the poor soul on the other end of my craziness.

My Third Qualification.... I dig gigantic holes just for the fun of it... and to hide foodables.  Well, now.  I don't dig those holes outside... instead, I dig them INSIDE! I make holes in the couch so I can lay more comfortably.  I make holes in the top of the couch so I can be at a better level to look out the window.  I make holes in the seats of the couch so I can hide my foodables in there until a more appropiate time to devour their delishiousness.  And, here is my reason why.  IF large holes are dug outside.. they may interfer with my zoomies and play time.  IF large holes are dug outside... if I hid my foodables in there, I will not be able to retrieve them whenever I wish because the momma would have to let me outside to get them.  IF large holes are dug outside, that would be time wasted from outside zoomies.  So, I dig my holes inside.
(Mom refuses to take pictures of the holes in the couch...)

My Forth Qualification... I shred stuffies, paper, boxes, peanut butter jars, ice cube trays, zucchinni's and anything else my mouth can reach.  I also chew tables, couches, money, toilet tissue, moms slippers and my crate.

My Fifth Qualification... I most definitely find it necessary to fling myself at the door while yapping my head off whenever someone comes to visit.  I mean... if you're coming to MY house, obviously you came for kisses and hugs from yours truly.  Plus, if you're an intruder that is not welcome... well then, no kisses for you.  But you better be scared of my BARK!

My Sixth Qualification... My legs are most definitely spring loaded, allowing me to poke my snooter into human eye sockets, noses, mouths, etc, even when the that said human is standing up right.  Now, they are most definitely just as excited to see me.  And they shove their hands all over my coat, so I have the right to shove my nose in their face.  For this qualification, I do not have pictorial evidence.  However, I have recruited some of my previous nose shoving victiums stars who would like to give their testominal to my case.
*Please note, names have been changed for the safety of my loyal fan club.
Case 1: Ms. Schmooter.  I had just arrived at Corbin's grandpaw Jack's house and was grabbing myself a bite to eat when Corbin came upstairs.  He instantly went cracker and ran around the upstairs of the house.  When he finally slowed down to let me pet him, I was remarking on what a handsome boy he was when he suddenly jumped in the air and shoved his nose right into mine!  I was stunned for a bit, but after further examination, there would be no long term bruising or breaks. 

Case 2: Grandma Tutula.  I had just arrived at Corbin's house to take his parents out to dinner.  Corbin immedietly came running to the door as I walked in and threw his body at me, paws flying everywhere.  His nose went right into my eye socket, leaving my vision a little blurry for a few minutes. 

Case 3: Grandma Loverly.  Corbin had just arrived at our house and was enjoying himself while running cracker in our yard.  Our of the corner of my eye, I see him running towards me, full speed.  About 3 or 4 feet away from me, Corbin leaps into the air and comes flying at me... nose headed directly for my mouth... and that is infact where it ended up.  There was a little bleeding from where my tooth cut my lip from the inpact of his mouth.  However, there were no longterm injuries and no hurt feelings.  Corbin just loves to give kisses, anyway, anyhow and anywhere.

My Seventh Qualification.  I go CRAZY at the mention of a tennis ball.  And for good measure, also a baseball, soccer ball, football, basketball, squeeky ball, soft ball, lacross ball or hockey puck.  Although cracker for my array of balls, I do behave rather nicely waiting for the dad to throw it.  I know if I go cracker on him while he has the ball, he will put our game of fetch to a halt.  So I wait until he throws the ball to go all cracker on it.  Sometimes I make flying leaps in the air to catch it, sometimes I catch it shortly after it leaves dads hands, and sometimes I make sliding catches for the ball.  It's been rumered that the officals in MLB are thinking about scouting my extreme abilities.
Since I've provided you with my 7 Qualifying qualities... I will now present you with some other antics that make me a crazy cracker dog.

Not only do I do zoomies on land, but I do them in water too!
And by car!
And then, to relax and get less crackerish... I like to enjoy a ice cold keystone.
And because being cracker all the time is quite exhausting... I like to sleep in strange positions that only cracker dogs sleep in.
And sometimes the momma likes to pretnd she's locked my cracker butt up! BOL!

32 comments:

  1. Your buddy has some extreme personality packed into that cute little body! The last picture is classic.

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  2. Oh Corbin, those pictures are priceless. :-D

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  3. Those flying tennis ball leaps sealed it for me... you're nuts for sure!

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  4. Yes, yes you are!

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com

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  5. You dug a hole in the COUCH???????? THAT alone qualifies you as a TOTAL CRAZY CRACKER DAWG.

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  6. An excellent presentation of your cracker self, Corbin! We're convinced!!

    -Bart and Ruby

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  7. I think you win the Cracker Dog Crazy Award paws done! bol

    My Shiver is a big chewer. He's gotten better about it as he's gotten older but he still does it from time to time. He used to chew my brand new bed and the baseboards as a puppy.

    Shiver also goes cracker dog crazy for tennis balls. Sometimes he'll even put them in his food bowl as he eats so that no one will steal it from him.

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  8. Great case for the cracker dog!!! We think you can rest your case now, Corbin - great job. Good luck.

    Woos - Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

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  9. Blimey Corbin, mum thought we were cracker but we think you take the cake. Yes, cracker for sure, but we loved hearing and seeing how mighty cracker you are. What a blast. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

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  10. Some of those ball-catching shots are definitely crackers!!!

    You're going to be a hard act to follow!

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

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  11. Wow Corbin,
    We're going to make you an honorary Portuguese Water Dog because you act just like us. If you're ever in our area, stop by for some zoomies and a game of ball.

    Good luck at Mango Minster.
    Morgan, Tsar and the Porties

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  12. OMG, you are definitely a crazy cracker dog, Corbin!

    Love ya lots,
    Maggie and Mitch

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  13. A hole in the couch??? You got my vote for sure!

    Your pal, Pip

    P.S.: Thanks for your well wishes. I am trying my hardest to get better.

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  14. You definitely got entered in the right category, Corbin! A hole in the couch and a snooter in granny's eye are going to be tough to beat!

    Bunny

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  15. Between the destroyed $20 bill and the bent bars in your crate, you should be a shoo-in! Dude, you are a total cracker (although your Mom REALLY should have posted pictures of the holes in the couch - pull out all the stops for Mango Minster!) and we wish you the best of luck. Especially if you stay far, far away from me. (Abby is cracker enough for me thankyouverymuch.) Although we both totally understand the zoomies because the grass tickles your feet, or because a phantom doggie barks on teevee, or because Mom and Dad are doing boring things like cooking dinner and not paying attention to us.... ;-)

    *kissey face*
    -Fiona and Abby the Hippobottomus

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  16. We are speechless. You are definitely going to be hard to beat in this category, Corbin. If they made a movie out of you, no one would believe it. We'd wish you good luck, but it seems superfluous.

    Jed & Abby

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  17. Poor momma and daddy!

    You certainly qualify!!

    I'd like to see those couch pictures, though! BOL

    And you gave me some nice ideas! :P

    :*

    Milka

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  18. OMD, you are a truly cracker dog, Corbin!!! Everything you do fits so well in the cracker dog category, you're an excellent candidate!!!

    We wish you all the best, Corbin!!!

    Licks
    Eva and Mika

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  19. Wow Corbin! You've definitely got our vote for CRACKER DOG! Those are some pretty awesome moves you've got there with the tennis ball, too! We're pretty sure you and Cooper must be related as he has lots of your same cracker dog moves! Good luck to you!!!

    The Road Dogs

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  20. Corbin,

    I know you in da furs, you IS a cracker dog! ;)

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae

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  21. oh, man, this was SO funny! corbin is really something. and let me tell you, desmond is the exact same way about balls. he often needs to get a timeout. :-)

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  22. I'm very impressed! This is an awesome entry and you are TRULY a cracker dog extraordinaire!

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  23. OMD, yup, you definitely qualify for the cracker doggie category. I don't want to give away the judging here, so I will refrain from my adjectives until judging time. but um, yup, you are certifiably insane crackers. and seriously handsome too. i had to throw that in there.

    Loki, of Wild Dingo

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  24. Checking out the competition. Well, we can see that Baby RocketDog has alot to contend with here! You are certainly crackers!! We remember wore a tie for our photo contest last year and you looked pretty serious then. This is a whole nother side to you. Bol.
    Smooches from pooches,
    BabyRocketDog and Hootie

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  25. We are checking out the competition as well. Yikes, we could be in trouble. Sniffs, The HoundDogs (Winston, Amiee and Bella)

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  26. Wow Corbin- you are a cracker King! Let's hope you and Skye never end up in a room together- it would be a crackertastrophe!

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  27. Oh wow you are definitely a cracker. What can we say you've got this.
    Ps. So sorry your feeling bad, hope it's better soon, and really sorry your momma has taken a spill, hope she heals quickly.

    The silvers and more

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  28. Whoa you are cracker crazy Corbin! Plus really handsome! But back to the cracker, I have one piece of advice... Don't chew up monies because that's what buys tennis balls and peanut butter jars! Ok? Really though you are a shoe in for cracker dog. I hope you get all better so you can get your cracker back!

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  29. OMD ROTFBMHO !!!!!


    Lovs
    Izzy, Uji n Ronnii
    xxx xxx xxx

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  30. Corbin, you have our vote buddy. We thought Stella was cracker but you are number one. No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

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