Tuesday, December 18, 2012

The Cone of Shame

The Cone of Shame will now be entered into the Corbin Hall of Fame: Destruction Section
Details below.

Hellooooo Hellooooo Helloooo Helloo
Hey, Shawnee, maybe you should hike my cone!
Corbee smoochies when you get to the top.

So, that's my cone.  The momma put it on me on Saturday and I kept getting it off.  So, she wrapped it around my collar, and I still got it off.  Finally, she out smarted the Corbin (or so she thought), and had it good and tight so I couldn't get it over my head.  I got noms every time I was good and calm in my collar and not karate chopping it off of my head.

Dad wouldn't even help me.
Dude, with the stupid inside tree behind me, I look like I'm lit up.
 
So, they made me spend a little time in my stupid cone every day hoping I would get used to it.  Seriously?  How would YOU feel, momma, if I put a lamp shade on YOUR head?!  Anyway, so the momma attempted to go to work for a few hours on Monday.  She put my cone on, gave me noms and put me in my crate (which we had also previously practiced in my cone).  When the momma came home, do you know what she found?
 
Yep.  The Corbin fixed that stupid piece of dog doo.
 
The momma seemed a little upset, so she suggested a car ride - that always makes me feel better, so I figured she was trying to cheer herself up.  So, off we went on an adventure.  We arrived at PetSmart, who suggested a thing that blows up around my neck.  You have no idea the danger this crazy momma was putting the Corbin in.  Something that blows up?!  Near my neck?!  Come on!
 
The momma didn't snap pictures during our adventure.
So, this is just me looking handsome after my surgeries.
 
Well, it was explained to me that it doesn't actually blow up, as in explode.  It inflates with air.  Still, stupid.  On went this inflatable thing, and inflate it did.  The momma paid for it and off we went back to the car.  Dontcha know, we didn't even get out of that parking lot before I had that thing really explode?  I popped it!  POP!
 
I told her "blow up" was never a good phrase.
 
The momma was glad they gladly returned it for her, and they laughed and said they had never heard of that before.  Then I got some good scratches while people told me I was smart.  Back in the car we went... this time we went to the PetCo.  They had foam flexible ecollars, the momma was skeptical, but willing to give it a go.  She paid the green papers and off we went for home.  I had that thing figured out in seconds and was able to nom on my tail.
 
I think you'll just have to stay home with me every day, momma.
Every. Day.
 
So, the momma pulled out the big guns and called the VET.  They said I'd have to go in to get fitted for their last resort.  Back in the car we went.  Would you believe that they had a NECK BRACE for me to wear?!  For real, neck brace.  Like for dogs with broken necks.  I said, Lady.... I ain't got no broken neck.  You crazy.
 
Look at this thing!!!!!!
 
The momma took me and my new neck brace home.  What dummies, why do I need a neck brace if I don't have a broken neck!?  The momma said it's because if I get to my tail and do any damage, SHE might break my neck, so this is a preventative measure.
 
You're bluffing, woman.
 
So, she left for the work place this morning again, and will come home and check on me in a few hours.  She said I was in big trouble if I had this thing off and she better come home to find me snoozin' in my crate.
 
Challenge accepted.

31 comments:

  1. Oh poor Corbin. I've been a silent lurker for over a year and just had to send you some good thoughts. Also thanks to your momma for making me laugh out load in my cube at work.

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  2. You are a regular Houdini! Though I'm hoping this one works.

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  3. Hey... whatever gets the moms to stay home to nurse you all better works for us!

    Sam and Pippen

    PeeS. Could you post tutorials on how you outsmarted each 'cone of shame' so us lesser dawgs could try it out in our time of need?

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  4. Ain't no stoppin Corbie when he has his mind set on something - but nomin on the shortened tail isn't a good idea unless you want no tail at all!!!

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  5. Corbin, you are so smart!!!! I'll bet you have that off in no time!!! Popped the sploding one! So smart!

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  6. Oh goodness. You sure are good at getting out of messes. Has she tried the comfy cone?

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  7. Corbie you are just AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT!!

    This is a SUPER PLAN to keep your mom HOME.. WHERE SHE BELONGS..

    WIMMEN Can be sorta Stubborn about stuffs like this though. Be Vigilant my furend.

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  8. I am not letting Pauley read this one as he does not realize that he could take the cone off if he really wanted to. Corbin you are too smart for your own good :)

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  9. Gosh - you are even smarter after your surgery! LOL - love that you destroyed those collars - woot woot!

    Actually, I think you better keep the neck brace on cause otherwise you will never heal properly. Teehee - although I am curious to see if you will overcome this newest challenge...

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  10. That thing looks pretty neat, Corbin! At least you won't get stuck on everything like with that awful cone of shame...

    I bet you look really cool with your new, improved tail situation too!

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  11. My goodness, the trials and tribulations you are going through. I hate those cones myself, just about breaks my heart to have to put it on one of my babies.

    Hang in there Corbin, hopefully it won't be too long.

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  12. Wow - you really like a challenge don't you!?! I think you should try to get it off so your mama will stay home with you.

    P.S. I have been sad this morning, and you post cheered me up and made me laugh. Thanks!!

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  13. Corbin I can't wait to read the conclusion of this post! What did your mom find when she came home from work? Was Corbin a good boy? Will Corbin outsmart one more device to keep him from his shortened tail? Stay tuned!

    Millie

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  14. Corbin, you are so funny, dude! Our angel sister Allie was able to get out of a cone in no time flat, but she never licked her wound! If you're not careful, you're gonna end up with a rottweiler tail! Personally, we think you could carry-off the look, butt you may not be ready for the experience...just sayin'...

    -Bart and Ruby

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  15. Hey Corbin!
    Wow, and exploding, blow up cone of shame! Now I've heard it all. I think you're up to the neck-brace challenge. Also, I have to say I kinda like the light-up cone in the first pix, but I don't blame you for destroying it anyway. Good luck with your challenge and more healing vibes headed your way.
    Grr and Woof,
    Sarge, Furiend

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  16. We KNOW you can do it...get rid of that thing. But maybe you'd better play along, mate. Santa is watching AND even more, you want that tail back in action soon.

    XXXOOO Daisy, Bella & Roxy

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  17. Corbin. Corbin. Corbin.

    You gots to leave your tail alone or you gonna lose it completely! Then you will be like a ship without a ruder and then you'll be all off keel!

    Be good my friend! (That said, The LB was chuckling and chuckling!)

    Your pal,

    Miss Fendi HoneyBuzz

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  18. That's what my Ma gots for me!!! The cone totally freaked me outs, so she got the 'neck brace' thingy. Totally worked for me, butts WOW Corbin, you are a challenge! Way to distruct the cone-o-shame!! OMD! My hero.
    I hopes it works for you, my friend!

    Kisses,
    Ruby

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  19. Corbin, we hope your in your crate when your momma comes back to check on you, were scared for you to know what she'll do if you get the neck brace off. She does not seem to be kidding around. Beside your tail will get better faster if you leave it alone.

    The silvers and more

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  20. Howdy Corbin, wowza you are like Houdini. We hope your tail mends soon so your mum can relax. Take care studly.
    No worries, and love, Stella and Rory

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  21. Corbin,

    We know your sweet momma would never hurts you...BUT you seem to be pressin' your luck wif dis situation. ;) Time to heal buddy so we can have play dates again!

    Woofs and Licks,
    Maggie Mae and Max

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  22. Corbin, Hang in there my sweet pal. If you wear it then your booboo will get better faster. Just rest and dream of Christmas.

    Loveys Sasha

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  23. I'm so conflicted! I know this is serious business but I'm laughing my head off!

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  24. Oh Corbin Dude yor Moms lovs yoo n does nots wants yoo to hurts yorself.Da neck race looks mitey macho it has to be sayd yoo looks all brave n likes a wrestler dude. Wee is most impressed at yor destruktive powers too.
    Lovs
    Da K Krew
    xxxxxxxxxxx

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  25. Wow! We are truly impressed! You go, Corbin - but we do want you to get better soon!

    Love ya lots,
    Mitch and Molly

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  26. Oh Corbin - you're too smart! You gotta wear something to keep away from your tail so it can heal.

    You looked really festive with the cone on and the tree lights behind you. That coulda been the Christmas card photo!

    It is serious. Best wishes for a speedy recovery! (I did giggle at the post though!)

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  27. Well, Corbin, how can I climb your cone of shame if'n you broked it? I gets Corbee smoochies anyways?

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  28. Mom bought my Lily a straight jacket for her neck too. You are to smart for the momma
    Benny & Lily

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  29. Ohhhh dear. Corbin, it's fun to thwart the humans, but remember that you'll only hurt yourself by chewing on your tail!

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  30. Oh oh....a COS.....this does not bode well....*goes back to last blog*

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  31. ooo can't wait to see how that fares!

    Stop on by for a visit
    Kari
    http://dogisgodinreverse.com

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